What Garbage

So the garbage that I put out to the curb last Tuesday is still sittinge exactly where I left it almost one week ago. It's neatly contained within the city-supplied bins: black for garbage, green for recyclables, and brown for (ahem) green waste. Still haven't figured out the reasoning behind that one.

Why is it still sitting there? Did I put it out a day too late? No. The garbagemen in my neighborhood are on strike.

They're striking because they rejected their employer's (Taormina Industries)contract proposal that increases their pay by $3.55 an hour over 5 years. Which, on top of a $16.25 rate, represents a 22% hike. Sorry if I don't sound empathetic, but this is way more than ol' Tad and his coworkers have enjoyed since the year 2000.

The reason that one worker cited in the Orange County register is that “Everybody makes more than us... Why are we the ones who are discriminated against? Why can’t we make what everybody else makes?” Here he is comparing the pay from Taormina to the rates paid by the companies doing the trash hauling in nearby communities.

Here is my response to Mr. Striker:

YOU'RE A GARBAGEMAN. WHO PROMISED THAT YOU WOULD BECOME RICH HAULING REFUSE? So they pay better at the company down the street? Fantastic! Apply for a job there! This is a free country! In fact, you can even develop your skills so that you can get a better job, say, NOT HAULING TRASH!

It's not like you even have to get out of your truck anymore for Chrissakes! It's all automated! You just drive the truck, the arm reaches out, grabs the can, and chucks the contents into the sealed container behind you! You don't ever come in contact with the garbage. At least, not when it flies out of my can and somehow misses your truck, no, you leave that for me to pick up.

Your job responsibilities include:

- knowing the route to drive
- being able to discern between black, brown and green cans
- stopping next to the can of the desired color
- pressing a button.

Boy, when they come up with an automatic navigation system for those trucks, they'll be sure to replace you too!

"Oh, but Tad," you say, "you're being mean. They're just trying to eke out a living."

They're getting a 22% raise. They already knew they were being paid peanuts. Now they'll be getting a hefty chunk more! What do they want? An executive jet and an expense account?

The point is that it is their choice that they are garbagemen. It is their choice not to seek a job with a higher-paying competitor or in a new line of work altogether. It is their choice to involve me in their inability to make better choices for themselves by leaving my garbage on my curb.

Now since I've not received any communication from the county indicating that I'm getting any sort of refund on my property tax for the lack of service, I have one simple request:


Get back to work and PICK UP MY !@#$%^& GARBAGE!

Everything I Needed to Know About Using the Potty I Learned in Kindergarten

Don't most people?

Apologies up front for such a banal rant, but when you're a grown up working in an office with other grown ups, I expect some basic courtesies of my officemates so that I don't get sick from their lack of hygiene. My first grader has better bathroom habits than some of the yuppity slobs in my cube farm.

I can't tell you how many jerks in my office fail to dispose of their bodily waste via the simple act of flushing the potty. I fail to understand what kind of health risk they think they're encountering by doing so. C'mon, fellas. You don't even have to use your hands. Flush the urinal with your elbow. Flush the crapper with your foot. You don't have to worry about catching diseases. You would, however, put everyone else's health at risk by leaving your waste there for everyone to see and experience.

Oh, and don't forget to wash your hands. Regardless if you flush or not. Use the soap - it's free. It is unfathomable how some people simply walk out of the bathroom without doing so. Many of those in my office that are guilty of this are in sales. Ewww. I feel sorry for our customers whose hands they shake. Kinda ruins it when there is free food in the employee kitchen. Double eww. I'll only partake if I'm sure that a non-washer has not been there first. And yes, we have a list of non-washers. They don't know it. But we know who they are. And we don't touch anything that they do.


I was going to take this a step further and complain about the new marketing people who somehow missed the part of employee orientation that covers the fact that while the coffee is complimentary, making a new pot when you take the last of an old pot is compulsory before noon. Must be that folks in marketing truly lack the technical skills required to operate a coffee maker. The water supply is connected directly, for crying out loud. All you have to do is dump the old grounds, insert a filter, and tear open a packet of pre-measured coffee grounds, pour it in, and press a button.

But I'm not complaining about this. I'm just glad that a non-washer is not touching my coffee.