TV is not Reality.

So Rob married Amber on national TV. I was so touched, I cried. For mercy, that is. It was a two hour plug for the resort they staged it at, the clothes designers, the caterers, the band, etc. etc. CBS apparently thought it to be good television to take two hours of primetime during sweeps to stage this made-for-TV marriage of two professional reality show semi-celebrities. Who the hell cares about these two chuckle heads who are already about 3 hours past their alloted 15 minutes of fame. Unfortunately, too many of us do. And by "us", I mean "them" - obviously not you or I. I know that you don't care, since you're reading a blog instead of watching Survivor or The Amazing Race or some other manufactured "reality" show on TV.

Sheesh. I've got *my* wedding video on tape, and I pop it in anytime houseguests overstay their welcome. The entire 2 1/2 hours. "Oh, look, here's where we light another candle!" "Didn't we look so much younger then?" "Do you have to leave so soon?" (Sound of feet running and a door slamming)

But I digress. Reality TV is not. If it is *on* TV, it is not reality. It's an imaginary world inside the magic box. Sex and violence are all imaginary. And so are, and thank God for this, PAX-TV and the Hallmark channel.

After all, if you find yourself stranded on a deserted beach somewhere, it's not going to be with a dozen other people who had to audition to get there. And if and when it ever does happen - in reality, that is - there won't be a TV camera and production crew there to capture all of the interactions and alliance-making. The prize for surviving is just that - surviving.

If you want a real reality show, just stick a camera in any living room in America and watch a different dysfunctional extended family unit watching their TV. Gotta pitch that idea to someone. On second thought, go ahead and steal it. It will save me the hassle, improve network programming, and I won't have to get up.

So I hope it works out for Rob and Amber, inasmuch I would wish anyone the incredible luck that I've enjoyed so far in my charmed existence. But not because I particularly like them. But come the fall sweeps, we'll probably be seeing them on Dr. Phil shortly before they break up.

As Dennis Miller would say, "I could be wrong".

Cheese out,

Tad